All posts which do not involve an adventure with Marin Spears will be on my personal blog: sunbeamsinajar.blogspot.com
Thank you.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Blogging till my nails dry
I had an epiphany in AP Calculus today. I was doing a problem and I insisted to one of my classmates that I was right and they were wrong. When we saw how the problem was being done on the board, I satirically informed, "Oh, I'm wrong!" Then my classmate said, "You're wrong, but you were right." The reason he said that is because the portion of the problem we were debating was correct on my part, but the end answer that I produced was wrong. I realized that that is often how a good mistake is made (for me, anyway). When I am at my best, I tend to try and avoid careless mistakes, so when I make good-to-honest mistakes, a part of the process which led to the mistake was correct, which is how I am deceived in thinking I am right. Just because I do one right thing, it does not mean I am always right.
Update on driving: Yesterday I had my first driving lesson. So many feelings. At first I was excited, but once I started driving, I was petrified. I felt like my instructor was irritated with me for being an incompetent driver even though I had practically never driven before (the only time I did was down my driveway for like 2 minutest). He has this tone in his voice every time I make a mistake as if to convey to me that I should know all of this already. And he's right. I should know it already in THEORY, but knowing HOW to do it is a whole different ball game. So I decided I detested driving in the first five minutes, but after practicing, it evolved into one of those activities that's super difficult, but you want to keep doing it and practicing to get better. I felt rather silly that driving was so difficult for me when it's a skill that practically everyone with epidermis can perform in order to survive modern society. In this way, driving is much like child birth. As a female, whenever I imagine how excruciating the pain of childbirth will be, I draw strength from the fact that the majority of women in the world have been able to bear children, so why can't I? I know it's a weird analogy, but that's how my mind works. That's how I got through my driving lesson--I kept looking at all the cars on the road and telling myself, "If they can do it, why can't I?"
Well, I drove to Yuba City, and my instructor (named Don) took me through the back country roads since he made it quite clear that I was not ready for the highway yet.
When we arrived in Yuba city, we picked up another driving student named Natalia who'd, thankfully, had three driving lessons before, so she drove beautifully. Since it was Natalia and not I at the wheel with my whole clenched-body/lamaze-breathing panic relief thing goin, the ride back allowed plenty of room for conversation. I learned that Don's family helped settle Yuba City, and his grandfather built the chamber of commerce there in 1880 because it was, in fact, his own house. Natalia has a small family; Don has a large family; I have a mammoth family. Natalia was named after a Russian femme fatal in one of the old James Bond movies. How cool, right?
All in all, my driving instructor was queasy toward my driving but complacent towards my manners. I'm glad I got to know him, or else my only memory of him would be a bitter depiction of sour nagging whilst I failed at operating a machine which most juveniles with underdeveloped brains could easily figure out. And no, I am not being harsh or bitter towards my generation because I, too, am still on this quest to earn the rest of my brain.
By the way, I have decided that blogging, though still considered a leisure time activity, is one of the most constructive and economical activities a young person could engage in. Why, you ask? (1) It encourages writing in a highly accessible way in that it can be accessed from a cellular device, and as most everyone knows, teenagers' thumbs are anatomically designed to embark on texting marathons and thus provide a positive and efficient use of time. (2) It is the solution to the universal crisis of females everywhere of what to do while waiting for ones nails to dry. Mine are painted teal now.
Update on driving: Yesterday I had my first driving lesson. So many feelings. At first I was excited, but once I started driving, I was petrified. I felt like my instructor was irritated with me for being an incompetent driver even though I had practically never driven before (the only time I did was down my driveway for like 2 minutest). He has this tone in his voice every time I make a mistake as if to convey to me that I should know all of this already. And he's right. I should know it already in THEORY, but knowing HOW to do it is a whole different ball game. So I decided I detested driving in the first five minutes, but after practicing, it evolved into one of those activities that's super difficult, but you want to keep doing it and practicing to get better. I felt rather silly that driving was so difficult for me when it's a skill that practically everyone with epidermis can perform in order to survive modern society. In this way, driving is much like child birth. As a female, whenever I imagine how excruciating the pain of childbirth will be, I draw strength from the fact that the majority of women in the world have been able to bear children, so why can't I? I know it's a weird analogy, but that's how my mind works. That's how I got through my driving lesson--I kept looking at all the cars on the road and telling myself, "If they can do it, why can't I?"
Well, I drove to Yuba City, and my instructor (named Don) took me through the back country roads since he made it quite clear that I was not ready for the highway yet.
When we arrived in Yuba city, we picked up another driving student named Natalia who'd, thankfully, had three driving lessons before, so she drove beautifully. Since it was Natalia and not I at the wheel with my whole clenched-body/lamaze-breathing panic relief thing goin, the ride back allowed plenty of room for conversation. I learned that Don's family helped settle Yuba City, and his grandfather built the chamber of commerce there in 1880 because it was, in fact, his own house. Natalia has a small family; Don has a large family; I have a mammoth family. Natalia was named after a Russian femme fatal in one of the old James Bond movies. How cool, right?
All in all, my driving instructor was queasy toward my driving but complacent towards my manners. I'm glad I got to know him, or else my only memory of him would be a bitter depiction of sour nagging whilst I failed at operating a machine which most juveniles with underdeveloped brains could easily figure out. And no, I am not being harsh or bitter towards my generation because I, too, am still on this quest to earn the rest of my brain.
By the way, I have decided that blogging, though still considered a leisure time activity, is one of the most constructive and economical activities a young person could engage in. Why, you ask? (1) It encourages writing in a highly accessible way in that it can be accessed from a cellular device, and as most everyone knows, teenagers' thumbs are anatomically designed to embark on texting marathons and thus provide a positive and efficient use of time. (2) It is the solution to the universal crisis of females everywhere of what to do while waiting for ones nails to dry. Mine are painted teal now.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Driving Existential Crisis
Right now, "Existential Crisis" is my favorite term because it pertains to so much of my life. Pretty much every day I have an existential crisis because I over think EVERYTHING. There is an advantage to this, however, because Mern and I determined that college life will indeed require large quantities of critical thinking, so even if I fail at life, at least I won't fail at college. :)
Anyway, today I have my first driving class, and I keep trying to predict how my performance of driving a car for the first time will be by psychoanalyzing all of the members of my family and trying to determine which of them I am most like when it comes to hand-eye coordination and such. I don't think I will be like my brothers because they were a bit overconfident in their driving, but I just have this feeling that the driving instructor is going to expect more out of me than I can deliver. Do I even make sense?
Anyway, today I have my first driving class, and I keep trying to predict how my performance of driving a car for the first time will be by psychoanalyzing all of the members of my family and trying to determine which of them I am most like when it comes to hand-eye coordination and such. I don't think I will be like my brothers because they were a bit overconfident in their driving, but I just have this feeling that the driving instructor is going to expect more out of me than I can deliver. Do I even make sense?
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
TAXES!
I'm being a terrible friend right now. I was supposed to go to Marin's basketball game and support her. I even have signs made. Instead, I went to the gym to exercise--which is great and all, but now my mother (whom I love) will not allow me to attend said game since I hardly have my assignments completed. You know, life is a balancing act. And by that I mean if one is to survive I'm the productivity of life, one must choose the stuff they want to do and then balance all of the stuff so that this hypothetical person's life doesn't collapse. Oh, my. How will I ever manage life as an adult? Bills and a house and a family and TAXES!! Ohhh taxes. I think I may implode. I should be doing my homework right now. There. Another piece of evidence for my incompetence at time management. Sometimes when I am working on homework and need a breather, I just sit and stare at my cat and marvel in the majesty of her feline qualities (AKA licking her behind). But I'll spare you my fascination with felines for another day.
Conclusion: If I gained anything from this venting sesh, it's that my problems right now are quite miniscule (is that how you spell it?) in God's eyes, but if I put my trust in him, he'll help me smooth over my imperfections. I'm sure in twenty years, these issues I am going through right now will be a mere scuff on my metaphorical life shoes, but for now, I'm grateful for my problems because they make me stronger, and I'm grateful that they're not worse. I'll do better next time.
Cliches are Life
So I just can't get a handle on being a senior. Like yesterday I was obsessed with barbie dolls, and now I'm about to graduate high school and go into college. (It wasn't really yesterday, that was just me utilizing a common cliche.) Anyway, Marin has been getting me through the year and keeping me motivated as well as my parents and God and my friends and stuff. Oh my gosh. I'm such a cliche Mormon. My life is a cliche. You know, this is what the blog is going to be about. It is going to be a self-exploration of me trying to give reasons why my life isn't cliche.
BYU-I
So...I'm kinda going insane because it seems like EVERYONE has already been excepted to BYU-I except for me. And it's like it has a 99.9% acceptance rate, so I'm bound to be accepted any day now, right? Maybe I am that .1%!!!!!! But in all seriousness I don't even want to go to BYU-I, it is just driving me insane that I haven't been accepted yet.
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